what is conditional love and unconditional love

For some it may sound strange but for many this phrase has its own importance. We all know that we care and show our love towards friends and family but if the same becomes conditional, then it loses its importance of being loved. In this post we will discuss conditional love and the unconditional one

What is conditional One:

Conditional love, yes you are reading it right. It is a kind of love when you are loved by another person under some conditions. This may be called a fair weather love because it favours you when everything goes well according to the conditions laid by the person who has demanded it. It may go well for a certain period of time but does not last forever because the behavior of a person changes with time and i have written an article just click on the link why people change.

What is unconditional love?

It is a kind of love which demands nothing and has no conditions from either side. It may last for long and will remain the same in all seasons because there are no demands that need to be fulfilled at  a particular point of time. But the mutual respect and understanding pushes both of them to be supportive to each other and face the rest of their life together.

In conditional love the demands put forth by one of the partners may not be ignored because it may be the outcome of past or may be feeling insecure about his or her life which should be taken into consideration but that should not be put forth in such a way that it will define the overall personality of the person ignoring all all other beautiful parameters of her life. Love should not be compromised at all. It is a blessing that one should shower free of cost and should not wait for the interest rates. The things which are compromised may not be called love at all, rather it may seem like  a business where demands will be met on conditions or on the points that the two parties have made while formulating the conditions.

Unconditional love is the kind of love that nature has provided us or we can say it is the purest form of love that God has for us. It is about offering something good and demands no exchanges. It is a blessing that one can have in his or her life without thinking or compromising much. Love should be unconditional and if it is not it will be treated as a business where the shares depend on the conditions and the inflation of the market goes up and down with time. The compromises or the conditions that need to be met or the consequences will be different. If one among the two fails to stick to the conditions, there will be frustration, feuds and can tense the relations at any point of time which can affect the beautiful lives in the long run. But there are people who have a strong belief about conditional love, their views should be respected and let them live according to their own conditions. It is a life anything can work for anyone, a matter of point and time. 

While writing this my phone started ringing and the call was from my friend whom i have been with 10 years ago and the talk of the town started from love which he was looking for in his life. He was excited to have a friend or marry a girl of his choice who will suit his personality or will be able to understand the poetry of Galib ( an urdu poet  1797-1869 ) and the conversation goes on and on. But when I asked if this is conditional from your side, he replied that I was looking for someone who has the same ideology or the same attitude towards life. He was eager to be with someone who could understand the lines of one of the renowned Urdu poets of all time (Galib) rather than who can focus on the materialistic world.

Now he is engaged about getting married and has no interest in listening to his romantic lines of poetry or his philosophy that he has carried  in his heart for years.

He further added that I have compromised on that because there was a gap which needs to be filled and the only way to fill that is to get married with a person whose way of looking at her life is different. But there are no conditions from  that person who is not interested in his  ideology or the aspects of life that my friend has carried with him over the years. I laughed at his choice of looking for someone who could understand poetry but at the same time i was thinking that the love for the poetry is unconditional and will go nowhere from his heart.  He is optimistic and loves to read multiple books about religion or philosophy and is keen to know about life and what actually it is.  But he is going to be with someone whom he knows from years and i wish them a good and beautiful life ahead together.

It is a debate that will go on and on but the love that nature has given us is unconditional and we should follow that with an open heart and clear mind rather than to think about the future which is yet to come. The relationships will be made with more ease  and the hearts will not be broken because it is hard to let go of a person whom you like and care about but what else can be done if the love becomes conditional. People go and life moves on but the heart and mind are stuck when you lose the person with open eyes and you have no choice than to wish him/her a good and beautiful life. So be the one who offers unconditional love  and the world will be a better place to live in. 

Let me end this with the beautiful lines  of Galib:

Ishq ne Galib Nikamma kar diya

Varna hum bhi the  aadmi kaam ke.

Aik baar aur ulajhna hai tumse

Bohat kuch suljhane ke liye.

Zindagi shayad phir se rastay main mila de

Magar yaad rakhna tum muje kho chukey ho.

Author: Shabeer Hassan Wani

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